My vocation to the priesthood and my homosexuality. A priest tells his story

Article by Bob Shine published on Bondings 2.0, blog of the Catholic association New Ways Ministry (United States), on 31 August 2016, freely translated by Silvia Lanzi

This year, a Catholic priest also marched at Philippine Pride who shared his story as a gay, consecrated and believer. The site Rappler writes that Father RJ (pseudonym) marched in this year's Gay Pride. Together with his family and friends, the priest says: “I'm gay… Homosexuality is no longer a problem among the Catholic clergy… Why should I be ashamed of it? My sexual preferences have never hindered my mission as a Catholic priest. Since I understood my true identity and fully embraced my sexuality, I also understood how to truly serve God with everything I have, without pretending to be who I am not."

Ordained four years ago, Father RJ knew he was gay since he was a teenager, but at the time he had a confused awareness of it and was ashamed of it. His family was quite conservative and the Philippines is a very Catholic nation. For many years he kept his homosexuality in silence while dedicating himself to his studies. But at university he fell in love: “I fell in love with a man who taught me to accept my true identity”. A year of “firsts” began: her first bouquet of roses, her first walk hand in hand, her first time talking about “adorable nonsense,” her first kiss, her first sexual experience. “The days spent with him were among the happiest of my life. I felt appreciated: I finally belonged to someone. I was freer. I no longer had to hide my fears. Every time I was with him I felt like myself."

The relationship ended but Father RJ says, through that experience, he learned to “accept myself and my sexuality”. Shortly afterwards he understood that he was called to consecrated life: “The priest remembers praying for the suffering and hatred to abandon his heart. The scars of his first agony were still there… Looking at the Paschal candle flickering in the cool afternoon breeze the priest began to understand that his first love was not the man who had broken his heart. It was Christ."

RJ began religious training a year later and has been a priest ever since. He says “never having felt different or discriminated against”: “I don't know if they know I'm gay, but I think that even if they knew, they wouldn't judge me... homosexuality is common among priests. We joke about it. When we talk about it seriously, there are many priests who say they are homosexual... [while others] are still hiding out of fear, or because they feel confused and guilty."

Father RJ's story sparked a debate about gay priests and, more broadly, LGBT rights in the Philippines. Professor Jayeel Serrano Cornelio of the Ateneo de Manila, a Catholic university where he directs the Development Studies Program, says that “a gay priest is not unusual” and adds: “I think the most important question is whether other Catholics also find this discourse problematic. There are so many young people who don't see it as such at all. And perhaps they are 'freer' because they are not priests... [the Church should give] a stronger message of compassion and inclusion."

However, obstacles for gay priests remain, also because the Church sends conflicting messages about homosexuality and consecrated life. The new Rappler article quotes Father Eduardo Apungan of the Association of Religious Superiors of the Philippines, who says that an openly gay man should not be allowed to become a priest, but if a priest came out after ordination he should not be condemned. An opinion shared by the auxiliary archbishop of Manila, Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle.

Pope Francis himself spoke about gay priests, the subject of the famous: “Chi sono io per giudicare?”, a comment he then extended to all LGBT people. The recent controversies over homosexuality at Ireland's national seminary and the resignation of Archbishop John Neinstedt show how the issue of gay priests is far from being settled, to the detriment of them and the people of God they should serve faithfully.

Father RJ is contributing as much as he can to the inclusion of LGBT people in the Church. Last year he wrote about the baptism of a same-sex couple's baby and countered the Philippine bishops' anti-same-sex marriage stance, saying it was “wrong and painful, not in line with the Gospel”. Bearing witness by sharing the story of his coming out and his religious life is another step in that direction.

Original text: Priest Marches in Pride, Shares His Story of Being Gay and Faithful