Being homosexual in the province. Living and hiding in Taranto

Article by Tony Albano taken from the monthly Aut of June 2010, 39-40

Growing up in Taranto is not easy, speaking with some mothers of the boys and girls I met; social class is an ax that divides the population, obviously creating differences: those who live in cardboard houses (those in the dormitories around industrial plants) and those who live in brick houses. The work situation is dramatic and apart from the lucky ones who remain in the city, young people who see no possibility of growing and prospering prefer to abandon. The people of Taranto, endowed with a proud and sometimes rebellious temperament, are helpful and welcoming bordering on embarrassment and explicitly do not demonstrate any type of homophobia. The association spaces are the classics of small centres: parish church, neighborhood bar/pub, restaurant, city bar and shopping centres. Gay clubs officially don't exist and therefore the weekend is made up of "themed" evenings that are known through a clandestine tom-tam based on SMS, MSN and Facebook in often remedied locations.
So the "Cocomeros" on Friday, the "Cafè del Mar" sometimes on Saturday, then expects the coveted summer season, but often yes it goes out of the province; Or they choose themselves as local meetings so "popular" where you can speak and get to know each other avoiding any embarrassment or ("Virgil's gardens"). I met 3 guys very well and a girl who in their own way face or have faced their diversity and eventually made a choice.

Claudio He is a boy in the province and the theme of diversity is unknown to him: gays are those who dress as a woman to make a show or attract men. During his long walks on the main course accompanied by the girl on duty, he observes other boys stealthily, but then attacked by guilt and prefers to avoid. After his studies he decides to embark in the Navy and is transferred to La Spezia and then to Rome and in the military environment he comes to discover other guys with his own doubts and his own fears and also finds someone to talk to it with.
But the return home is always problematic: the family expects a marriage like that of the sister and perhaps even a nephew from that son who is so handsome and virile that he has become a career officer, and therefore the meetings with the family are postponed and the relationship with the girl is severed "due to" distance and military career. Relationships begin with other often married soldiers who always have the same conclusion, creating major doubts and acceptance problems. After every disappointment we return home for a while and remember the reasons for the "great escape" and the impossibility of combining a military career with an "alternative" lifestyle. Then Claudio made the decision, once he arrived permanently in Rome, to move permanently and try to live a life free of guilt and impositions, hence his first cohabitation and his first important story.
The only regret remains the lack of sincerity towards the family who, according to him, could not understand and accept him, in this case the hated military life perhaps constitutes a perfect alibi.

Francis he is a boy belonging to the "Taranto bene" only child, nice house, nice car, excellent education, a degree in economics, a master's degree abroad and a job as an official in a bank. He moves in a privileged context, a handsome boy contested among the best girls in the city who changes as if they were new cars. But the "girl-killer" reality hides a different truth: a chance encounter with a friend of his age at school on the beach opens up a different way of seeing things for him. And after that he continued, in the scorching summers, to search for his true love on the isolated beaches of the beautiful Taranto coast, collecting many rip-offs. He changes strategy and turns to the internet and "chatting" begins to meet people; but the local reality doesn't satisfy him and above all he doesn't want to be discovered.
The desire to be with a person of the same sex is put to rest for a while and consumed from time to time outside the province or outside the region until he meets his soul mate right in his bank: a high local state official above all suspicion , married with lots of children in tow. Then the clandestine meetings begin scattered here and there in the hotels or villas on the provincial coast, the relationship is not simple and the moments together are always rushed and difficult but "appearances must be kept up!". When Francesco enters into crisis with his world and with himself, he too escapes from that golden cage and seeks refuge in Rome, sometimes letting off steam with very long cries and sobs for a life he has never lived, always promising himself that when he returns he will have the strength to change.

MariaPia It has become an institution in Taranto, well known for all "alternative" evenings and in Tarantino it is the symbol of a sexuality experienced with ease and discretion. She is a girl who loves to live the night and promoter of the various tam tams via SMS or Facebook that allows the LGBT people to meet on Friday or Saturday. He lives with his mother who accepted his homosexuality in a family context in which women are the masters (a little typical of Southern Italy) and given his sympathy and spontaneity is accepted in many city contexts. It is very acute and sensitive and often many of the community ask her for advice a bit like it was a sort of consultancy; Couple problems, friendship relationships, organization of evenings, names to give to the new drag queen and so on, but paradoxically this visibility and this inner force do not allow it to find a partner who lacks and sometimes is satisfied with relationships illegal immigrants with girlfriend girls.
Like all sensitive and artistic souls he feels that his city cannot offer them much, and always tries to do something to involve his friends and acquaintances. Sometimes her maternal instinct makes her "adopt" that boy who has recently been discovered and tries to advise him as he can, as a good older sister would do. Nicola is a very young boy from Taranto who faces his first life experience outside his city in Rome, choosing the navy as his future. The large family is unable to keep him to continue his studies and once he turned 18 he prefers to emigrate to Rome and, like many young people, a bit out of curiosity a little to look for a perspective different from the family of family.
He lives his homosexuality with great serenity, declared to his large family who accept him and his partner and his family with great serenity. His first sexual experiences were with some classmates and then thanks to the internet and the lack of information on safe sex they caused him some small problems. Like all very young people of his age, he aspires to a stable relationship with someone perhaps older but more often than not he comes across hit-and-run sexual situations but every time he always comes out very fortified. Once his experience in the Navy is over, in which he declares his homosexuality with great ease, he tries to return to Taranto but now realizes that the job opportunities are slim and perhaps the hated big city is the last resort.
He tries to fit into the city working context but he is not used to the indifference and indifference of people and his unruly and grumpy character often comes out as a need for protest and environmental discomfort. But apart from the daily problems and work difficulties he decided to continue his studies and build a tomorrow, it's a shame that he had to abandon his beloved city and his friends and now he has the sensation of feeling "different" not because of sex but because of fact that it is southern.
On the part of the new generations I have noticed that coming out is a frequent thing perhaps even with a hint of recklessness which sometimes does not hurt while the over 30s prefer to either leave their own context, often using work as an alibi, or living their sexuality through clandestine meetings held between beaches and car parks.

Taranto and its province constitute a southern Italy that tries with great difficulty, starting from a position of cultural disadvantage, to create spaces and visibility for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) community and perhaps avoid that a sexual preference forces the abandonment of the family and of one's territory, defrauding him further.