How it all began. Me, the vigils and the Kairos of Florence

Interview with Matteo del Kairòs Group of Florence made the April 28, 2013

Since my first communion I have always attended the life of my parish, in the center of Florence. For many years the parish, the oratory, the summer camps were my "little" world. For 10 years, then, I was a catechist, parish animator, companion and one of the references of the post-confirmation group.
At the age of 23 I came into contact with the group of homosexual Christians Kairòs, which then met at Don Alessandro Santoro's Community of Piagge.

For several years I attended Kairòs incognito, without saying anything to my family and my parish priest. Only at the age of 26 did I declare myself to my family, and little by little I detached myself from parish life.

It was the period in which the Church, for vile and political reasons, took on an unsustainable attitude towards homosexual people (2006-2007). Now I continue to frequent the Kairòs group actively, 10 years after I first joined the group. It is there that I live my life as a believer, the group is "my" Church. I only go to church for Sunday mass. I believe in the sacraments, in the Gospel and in Christ. But I have developed a sense of disgust for everything relating to the ecclesial dimension: I feel it as an oppressive, falsifying and hypocritical reality.

I no longer listen to the condemnations of popes, bishops and priests, I don't think they even deserve the consideration of being contested. They should just be ignored, because they do not speak in the name of Christ. Even the magisterium I do not consider it binding, because its assertions are not well founded. Naturally there are some exceptions: the priests who collaborate with the Kairòs group are excellent, very valid and courageous people. But, objectively, they represent a minority of the clergy and, not surprisingly, they are kept on the margins...

Tell us how you discovered vigils for victims of homophobia?

Look, the vigils for the victims of homophobia were an "invention" of my Florentine group. We were in 2007, a particular year as we were in the midst of the debate on PACS and the rights of homosexual people. We were "bombarded" daily by our ecclesiastical hierarchies - Ruini, Bagnasco etc. – of comments and judgments that are sometimes offensive towards us, and certainly painful.
A 17-year-old young man committed suicide in Turin. I remember that his name was like me, Matteo. His classmates made fun of him by calling him a "faggot". The episode affected me greatly. Thus, during our usual penitential vigil in preparation for Easter, in the small church of the Innocents, in Piazza SS. Annunziata, I proposed to celebrate, in the month of May, a prayer vigil for Matteo and for all the victims of homophobia.

The proposal was welcomed with enthusiasm by the group. So in May 2007 in Florence we celebrated, in the Waldensian church, the first vigil for the victims of homophobia, which from the following year spread to all the main Italian cities where groups of Christian homosexuals existed.
It was an extraordinary event, the group's first public event. We sent out press releases, leaflets, letters to all the parish priests of the diocese and to all the bishops of Tuscany. The event was highly publicized by "Repubblica", by the "Corriere fiorentino", we were even interviewed by the national press. Some Catholic priests and the heads of all the reformed confessions of Florence participated.

The Vigil was held in a truly particular atmosphere, at the beginning there was palpable tension. For me it was a very strong emotion, the voices of the readers in the church trembled. Many cried.

It was a moment of liberation, I would almost say "cathartic", in which pain was transformed into prayer and denunciation. We have all experienced incidents of homophobia in our lives, although rarely of a violent nature. Our prayer was like a cry of freedom and dignity that rose from the heart, broke the silence and said "enough is enough!". And he said to our church: “Why don't you realize that your words hurt us?”.

In your opinion, what important message do the prayer vigils for the victims of homophobia send to all believers in our churches...

The message is simple and strong: homophobia is a form of racism, like anti-Semitism or xenophobia. It produces pain, injustice and death. It is therefore absolutely contrary to the Gospel. Anyone who professes to be a Christian must have this awareness. Indifference, silence or complacency towards homophobic acts or words are equally serious, because they justify a form of racism that is incompatible with the respect due to every man as a Son of God.

In your opinion, the vigils brought about a change in the people who shared this moment with you…

Definitely yes. I remember that at the first vigil in 2007 many people entered the church almost stealthily, halfway through the liturgy, sitting at the back, as if they had ended up there by chance. Later we freed ourselves from these fears, we understood that public prayer strengthens us, and that there is no reason to be ashamed when the intentions are right, when the spirit is pure.

All of us have become more sensitive and courageous on the topic of homophobia. Three years ago I even held a meeting with around 200 high school students on the topic of homophobia. A step that I certainly would never have taken if I hadn't had the experience of the Vigils behind me.

With what hope will you participate in this year's vigils.

The hope is that of every year. Reach and involve many people. Especially heterosexuals, because racism is a problem that is not limited to the minority that is its victim. It is a problem of the whole society, of the whole Church. People who suffer from their homosexuality often feel alone. Prayer unites us with them, even if we don't know them, even if we don't know where they are. God will act as a medium of justice, hope and freedom for our brothers who suffer what we too have suffered.

This year, however, I also have a more particular hope. The new Pope Francis has embodied a desire for renewal of the Church and a return to the spirit of the Gospel. We do not dare hope for a change in the teaching on homosexuality. But a greater ability to listen, a greater effort to understand the causes of man's pain, to eradicate the roots of violence, to build peace.

And, above all, to bring the evangelical message back to the center of the life of the Church. This would certainly already be a gigantic help for those who fight against discrimination and for those who call for respect for the life and dignity of the human person.