I am lesbian and Christian. Do I choose my faith or the possibility of a relationship?

Email sent to us by Chiara, Don Luca replies

Hi, I'm Chiara, a Sicilian girl. Until a few years ago I did not experience my Baptism and I lived my homosexuality openly, but as I grew up I accepted the Word of the Lord and undertook a serious journey of theological-spiritual study.
Initially, due to some movements, I abandoned, or rather eliminated, all relationships with the homosexual community, because they had instilled in me that homosexuality was evil.
I went through a bad moment in my life, in which I saw everything as dark, but thanks to the presence and accompaniment of some members of my Parish Community I literally 'crossed it', recomposing the pieces of my existence. Furthermore, thanks to study, I learned to appreciate the beauty of the family and sexual difference, but most of all the enchantment of life (questions of Christian morality that I did not know and that I actually openly criticized!). Now, however... I find myself broken.
It is as if at a certain point on the journey of faith we arrive at a crossroads: What to put first?
I choose faith and I entrust myself totally to God, welcoming the tradition of the Church and living chastity - an attitude that all Christians should live, not just homosexuals - or I choose to give myself the possibility of a relationship, however corrupting all my principles theological.
Can two paths be followed at the same time? Sooner or later won't we have to choose one? But how to choose something so important?
For me it's a really difficult question. And, instead, I realize that for many homosexual believers the choice is simpler (I'm not saying easy!). But when you have certain knowledge and experience, what do you do?
It is a delicate and complex topic to be addressed both by the Catholic side - often closed to listening to others - and by the Homosexual side - often closed to the faith and the institution of the Church.
Mine is meant to be nothing more than an outlet. I feel somewhat misunderstood. Thank you for listening.

A brotherly hug. Clear

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The don responds…

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Dear Chiara, if I were to put it as a joke I could say: what to choose between my self and my God?
You see Chiara, only a superficial knowledge of Scripture or better yet, of the evangelical message, can lead us to have hesitations on this doubt. If we fully understand the true and authentic message of the Gospel, we understand that God will never ask us to choose between Him and our happiness. We will never be asked to put our faith before our need for love and to be loved. What God would he be, a God who created his own daughter to destined her to unhappiness? That God would be a God who generated his own creature to make it live an entire life in deprivation, and in the deprivation not of just any thing... but of feeling loved and of being able to love... And this would be imposed by the very God who is love...

"Before I even formed you I already knew you, before you were even born I had already chosen you” says the Lord to Jeremiah… each of us, dear Chiara, is known, wanted, loved by God… and loved with infinite love. Each of us, dear Chiara, is a grandiose and magnificent work of the hands of God. And when you think you are a mistake, a mistake, a poorly executed, defective "piece"... you blaspheme.
And you, never swear, dear Chiara, please, never swear. You are a masterpiece of God's hands and by calling you into existence the Lord gave you only one command: love. He loves Chiara, loves without stopping and without fear. Love. Without measure you love.

You ask yourself: Do I choose faith and entrust myself totally to God, accepting the tradition of the Church and living chastity - an attitude that all Christians should live in any case, not just homosexuals - or do I choose to give myself the possibility of a relationship, but corrupting all my theological principles.

What's wrong if I, a homosexual person, who REALLY love my partner (or my partner) want to build a life with him (her)? Perhaps the "intrinsically disordered" behaviors mentioned in the Catechism of the Catholic Church make you feel very intimidated?
I must say that those very strong terms are also too ungenerous and - frankly - inadequate to address in a serious and comprehensive way a multitude of situations that cannot be grouped into a single action (the sexual act) regardless of the context in which the same takes place.
Very beautiful, and I quote it often, is the thought of the card. Woelki who, reflecting on these things said “If I take the Catechism seriously, I cannot see homosexual relationships exclusively as a denial of natural law. I also try to understand that there are people who assume lasting mutual responsibility, have promised each other fidelity and want to take care of each other [...] When two homosexual people assume mutual responsibility, if they have a faithful and long-term relationship term, this relationship must be considered in the same way as a heterosexual bond“. Which does not mean elevating homosexual union to the sacrament of marriage... but still giving it that dignity that every union in which there is true and profound love should have.
Start from here Chiara to reflect on the possibility of realizing yourself in love... when sexuality is experienced as an end in itself then it is wrong, but when it becomes the most intimate expression of the profound and total love of two people, then there is no it is sin, there is no error, there is no disorder. In the profound love of two people who love each other there is the order of God's love. And chastity, to which all couples are invited, is not the "don't have sex“… but it is living fully and totally one's love for the beloved.

Don't be afraid to realize yourself in love and to love, dear Chiara, never be afraid to be a source of love and at the same time discover yourself in need of love.

Finally, you talk to me about the beauty of sexual difference... I could agree with you if you talked to me about the "power" of sexual difference... but about beauty? When two people love each other, they are two hearts that beat in unison in the heart of God... and when I see two hearts beating in the heart of God I am not interested in knowing whether they belong to two men or to two women or to a man or a woman... I see just two hearts beating in the heart of God.
So I invite you to reflect on the use of this word... beauty is not in sexual diversity, but in the authenticity of love. When love is authentic, there is beauty, there is greatness, there is wonder.

The God of love will never ask you not to love. Imprint this well in your head and never forget it.

Love dear Chiara, love without stopping and without fear. For your God is the God of love.

Hello

Don Luca