"The darkest period of my life". Journey to Italy in gay conversion therapies

Article by Davide Ghiglione published on the website of the BBC News (United Kingdom) on June 2, 2024, freely translated by Luigi and Valeria de La Tenda di Gionata

Rosario Lonegro was only twenty years old when he entered a Catholic seminar in Sicily as an aspiring priest. But while he was there he fell in love with a man and his superiors asked him to undergo a conversion therapy aimed at erase his sexual preferences if he wanted to continue the path towards the priesthood.

"It was the darkest period of my life," he told BBC, remembering his experience in the seminary in 2017.

Tormented by the sense of guilt and fear of committing a sin in the eyes of the Catholic Church, Rosario said he had "felt in trap without having other choice but to suppress my true self".

«The psychological pressure to be someone who was not insurmountable. I couldn't change, however much I tried. "

For more than a year he has been forced to participate in spiritual meetings outside the seminary, some of which lasted several days, where he underwent a series of extremely stressful activities that had the aim of radically modifying his sexual orientation.

Among these, be locked up in a dark closet, be forced to undress completely in front of the other participants and even be forced to stage their funeral.

During these rituals, he was asked to put in writing those who were perceived as his defects, such as "homosexuality", "infamy", "falsehood" and even more explicit terms, which was then obliged to bury under a symbolic plaque .

I thought I had to be cared for

The World Health Organization (WHO) has removed homosexuality from the list of mental disorders in 1990. Subsequent scientific studies have largely shown that attempts to change sexual orientation are not only ineffective, but also harmful.

In France, Germany and Spain, a mainly Catholic country, conversion therapies have been officially prohibited and both in England and in Wales, you are trying to make them illegal.

Today in Italy it is almost impossible to determine the exact diffusion of these practices, above all denounced by men, but also by some women, and there is not even an officially shared legal framework.

In recent months, however, the BBC He interviewed several young homosexuals throughout the country, who have told their experience of having undergone pseudo-scientific group meetings or individual therapy sessions that had the aim of transforming them into heterosexuals.

A thirty -three -year -old man who attended this type of encounters for over two years explained the reasons why he initially accepted that he took this path by saying: «I wanted to reconcile myself with myself. I didn't want to be homosexual. I thought I needed to be cared for. "

"I saw him as the only possibility I had to be accepted," another said. He was not trying to become a priest, but simply to be accepted by others and by society in his daily life.

Sexual orientation conversion therapy is not limited to a specific Italian region: group meetings and individual therapy sessions take place throughout the country, some also managed by authorized psychotherapists. In some cases, these meetings and these therapy sessions are kept hidden and take place with unofficial methods, often promoted through discreet conversations and reserved word of mouth.

In other cases the courses are advertised explicitly and are organized by known characters within the Italian conservative clubs, who actively seek followers online and on social media to promote their ability to change sexual orientation.

In Sicily, Rosario Lonegro participated above all in the meetings organized by the Spanish group Verdad y libertad (Truth and freedom), led by Miguel Ángel Sánchez Cordón. This group then dissolved, following the disapproval of the Catholic Church.

However, the Italian priest who initially pushed Lonegro to participate in these practices obtained an important position within the Church, while others in Italy continued to draw inspiration from the methods of Sánchez Cordón.

Many of the people with whom the BBC He spoke referred to Luca Di Tolve, a "moral/spiritual guide", who made himself known thanks to his book entitled I was once gay. In Medjugorie I found myself.

On his website, Tolve and his wife boast of being a "happy couple" who tries to "support anyone with a sexual identity in crisis, helping him to actually exercise their freedom in determining those who want to be as a person". Contacted by BBC, Of Tolve did not answer.

Another very active person in promoting strategies to combat sexual orientation perceived as an abnormal is Giorgio Ponte, a writer known in Italian ultra -care environments. He claims to want to help people overcome their homosexuality and free themselves, telling their history as a man with homosexual drives that is traveling on a journey of freedom "which can potentially last for life".

"In my experience, the homosexual attraction arises from a wound to one's identity that hides needs not linked to the sexual-erotic aspect, but rather linked to a distorted perception of oneself, which is reflected on all aspects of life", He told the BBC.

"I believe that a homosexual person must have the freedom to try [to become heterosexual], if he wants, knowing, however, that he may not be possible for everyone," he added.

When I kissed it it seemed unnatural to me

In recent years, dozens of young men and women have sought the guide of characters such as Tolve, Ponte and Sánchez Cordón. Among them is Massimiliano Felicetti, thirty -six -year -old gay, who for over fifteen years has tried to change his sexual orientation.

«I started to feel uncomfortable with myself since I was a child, I felt that I would never have been accepted by my family, by society, by the environments of the Church. I thought I was wrong, I just wanted to be loved and these people offered me hope, "he said.

Felicetti said he tried several solutions, consulting psychologists and members of the clergy who offered to help him become heterosexual. However, about two years ago, he decided to stop. A friar who knew about his struggle encouraged him to start attending a woman, but he didn't seem natural to him.

«When I kissed it for the first time, it seemed unnatural to me. It was time to stop pretending, "said Felicetti.

Just a few months ago he declared his homosexuality in the family. "It took years, but for the first time I am happy to be who I am."

Despite the attempts of previous governments to promote a law that opposes conversion therapies, no progress has been made in Italy. The current right -wing government, led by Giorgia Meloni, has so far taken a hostile position against the rights of LGBT+people, with the same premier who has publicly committed to counteract the so -called "Lobby LGBT+" and "Gender ideology" .

This lack of progress is not surprising Michele di Bari, a researcher of comparative public law at the University of Padua, according to which Italy is structurally much slower to implement changes than other countries in Western Europe.

«Le terapie di conversione sono un fenomeno molto difficile da inquadrare: da una parte, infatti, si tratta di una pratica vietata dallo stesso ordine degli psicologi italiano; dall’altra nell’ordinamento giuridico italiano non è considerata illegale. Chi svolge queste pratiche non può essere punito».

Nonostante la complessità della questione, gli esperti ritengono che in Italia ci sia una certa esitazione nel proibire queste pratiche controverse, in parte a causa della forte influenza cattolica nel Paese.

«Questo può essere uno degli elementi che, insieme a una cultura fortemente patriarcale e maschilista, rende più difficile una maggiore comprensione e accettazione dell’omosessualità e dei diritti delle persone LGBT+», ha affermato Valentina Gentile, sociologa dell’Università LUISS di Roma.

«Tuttavia, è anche giusto dire che non tutto il mondo cattolico è ostile all’inclusione delle diversità e la Chiesa stessa è in un periodo di forte trasformazione in questo senso», ha aggiunto.

Papa Francesco ha detto che la Chiesa cattolica è aperta a tutti, compresa la comunità gay, e che ha il dovere di accompagnarli in un percorso personale di spiritualità, pur se all’interno delle sue norme.

However, the Pope himself would have used a highly derogatory term against the LGBT+ community when he said, during a meeting behind closed doors with the Italian bishops, who should not be allowed to become a priests. The Vatican presented official excuses.

Rosario Lonegro left Sicily behind and lives in Milan. Following a nervous exhaustion in 2018, he left both the seminar and the conversion therapy group.

While still believing in God, he no longer wants to become a priest. He shares an apartment with his boyfriend, he studies philosophy and occasionally undertakes work from freelance To pay the university. However, the psychological wounds inflicted by these reparative practices are still profound.

«During those sessions, a mantra persecuted me and was repeated continuously:“ God did not make me like this. God did not make me homosexual. It's just a lie that I tell myself. " I thought I was evil, "he said.

"I will never forget it."

Original text: 'Darkest period of My Life': Gay Conversion Therapy in Italy