The homosexual movement seen by Gianni Geraci: discovering oneself as gay and Christian in the 80s and 90s

.
Interview by Giacomo Vitali a Gianni Geraci of Ford, group of homosexual Christians from Milan, , first part

The story of Gianni Geraci, inside the Italian homosexual movement and in particular in the Milanese panorama, can offer us a unique look at the developments of LGBT culture and associations in the 80s and 90s, up to its most recent evolutions, also thanks to its Catholic faith, conflicts, dramas and hopes experienced in a context, the religious one, so apparently detached from the gay movement.

Gianni Geraci is a sixty-year-old man who lives with Luigi, his partner, with whom he married two years ago after a relationship that began in 2003. After graduating in Statistics from the University of Padua and having worked as a commercial technician for a multinational IT company, in 1989 he decided to undertake his dream job and took over a bookshop in Varese. After selling it in 2001, he continued to work as a bookseller in the Canton of Ticino until he retired a year ago.

Engaged in the parish of Porto Valtravaglia, he was part of Catholic Action and the Federation of Italian Catholic University. After undergoing Jungian therapy to change his sexual orientation, in the 1990s he began to engage first in the homosexual movement, as a member of the national council of Arcigay, and then in Ford, a discussion group on Faith and Homosexuality that operates in Milan. Between 1997 and 2006 he was spokesperson for the Coordination of Christian homosexual groups in Italy.

What it is and what it represents for youto diversity? When do you start asking yourself the first questions about your diversity, questioning yourself and reflecting on it?

Until the end of university I never felt "different": I grew up in a small town where all the kids had more or less the same life path. When, during adolescence, I experienced with discomfort the constant references to sex that characterize the discussions among children of that age, I was convinced that the source of this discomfort had nothing to do with homosexuality, but was the result of the serious way in which I took the recommendations that came to me from the adult world and, more particularly, from my parish priest and the nuns.

In essence, if I had understood that I was not like the others, who made "dirty talks", I had convinced myself - also supported in this by the educators I met in the parish - that I was better than the others.

The commitment to Catholic Action and FUCI was very rewarding and, even if I realized I was homosexual, I was convinced that my emotional orientation would not influence my life in the slightest, since I thought I was called to some form of consecration.

I also considered the idea of ​​entering the seminary, even though I was greatly fascinated by Giuseppe Lazzati, who was part of a secular institute.

I had to come to terms with my homosexuality during my military service where, despite never having considered the idea of ​​having homosexual relationships, I literally "in love” from one of my comrades.

The fact that the end of military service also implied the end of the assiduous acquaintance between us threw me into a state of mind of profound depression: my old friends from Catholic Action as the years went by they got married and I began to feel terribly alone and to think that my homosexuality, of which I had now become aware, could not be sublimated through consecration to God.

The idea of ​​talking to a psychologist terrified me because I was afraid that he would tell me that I was sexually repressed. I then talked about it with a priest who put me in contact with a psychotherapist who claimed to be able to change my sexual orientation.

The therapy lasted a year and was a failure: "she doesn't heal because in reality she doesn't want to heal" he went so far as to tell me when I told him, after more than nine months of therapy, that I had had my first "contact" sexual.

It was starting from that refusal that, little by little, I developed a profound love for my "diversity" and, more generally, for all the diversities that I currently consider "a gift", "a grace" and "an opportunity" .

In short Gianni, the first steps of your maturation and personal reflection, taken in adolescence, reveal, despite the overall difficulty of that period and the suffering experienced in a Catholic environment, the desire to understand, to deepen and to give meaning to this diversity that, so to speak, forcefully "knocks" on the door. The military service with the first love and the so-called failed "restart" therapy, which had and does not have any scientific basis, nevertheless represent a turning point in your life path of self-acceptance and awareness.

What role did the media and especially the press of the 80s and 90s have in this "discovery" of your adolescence? Do you remember particular gay magazines or Italian “underground comix”?

In this process the media did not have a very important role: homosexuality was considered a transgression and I rejected any form of transgression. Even towards some openly homosexual characters I found myself very critical: they were generally evaluated positively by the Left-wing press of the time and I, as a Christian Democrat activist, did not consider myself Left-wing.

Books certainly played a crucial role: not so much those by authors loved by homosexual circles, such as Pasolini, rather than Testori; Busi or Tondelli, but those who were despised by the gay subculture.

In particular they were fundamental for me Carlo Coccioli and Julien Green two homosexuals who, starting from their orientation, had decided to deal with the theme of transcendence.

In the nineties, when I was now in my thirties, I started buying and reading Babylon, the only openly homosexual periodical in Italy. And it was through Babylon that I came to know what we might call the "Italian gay subculture”, in which American underground culture was also present.

Babilonia was a monthly magazine, which lived off the advertising of gay clubs, in which there was a bit of everything: interviews with show business personalities who talked about their relationship with homosexuality; gossip about the homosexuality of some VIPs; announcements for meetings or relationships; a guide to the meetings and appointments that gay clubs organised; reportage on what were considered "gay friendly" tourist destinations (from San Francisco to Mykonos, from Sitges to Tunisia, from London to Rio de Janeiro).

Much space was also given to the history of homosexuality. For some years there was a column on spirituality, first edited by Don Goffredo Crema and then by the undersigned. Naturally we also talked about politics, AIDS, various sexual practices and rights. There were some very well done columns dedicated to sexually transmitted diseases, books, cinema, theater and, recently, even comics.

He lived mainly from the advertising that gay clubs did. “Babylon” had the merit of helping homosexuals to feel less alone, closer to each other and part of a community.