The secret of a lifetime. I am gay and grandfather
Text by Cristophe Bonnet published in the monthly Tétu n.202 of September 2014, pp.122-124, free translation by Marco Galvagno
Privileged by age and family life more and more gay are grandparents. The grandchildren have nothing contrary to the fact that their grandfather lives with a man, provided that their parents accept it.
The grandfather kissed the Lord
The majority of gay grandparents became fathers during a heterosexual wedding. We got married to be like others in an era in which homosexuality was not yet accepted. There are many who have engaged in a heterosexual couple life, before questioning and accepting themselves. Despite this lively past, some manage to entertain excellent relationships with the grandchildren being very affectionate.
Jean Pierre loves his 6 -year -old granddaughter, preparing the snack and watch the cartoons with her. Engaged is a militant of the gay association Except homo (The only one in the Lot and Garonne region in France), Audrey's grandfather is neither too reserved, nor excessively talkative about his homosexuality, but sometimes the case makes things fall.
"One evening in which everyone did goodnight my mice wanted to pamper me and, entering the room, he saw that I kissed my partner Pierre Philippe" says Jean Pierre. Fair of his discovery Audrey started repeating everyone: "Wow the grandmother kissed the Lord on the mouth". The first time he understood that there was a love bond between the two and since then things are going well. The theme of the trust that Jean Pierre's daughter nourishes against her father's partner has never placed themselves, they only spoke about it on the occasion of the editorial staff of this article. " What do you want me to change me if you are gay. His judgment does not admit replicas.
The curiosity of children grows quickly like their legs, to obtain answers they do not hesitate to intervene with the frankness that distinguishes them and often do it at the least appropriate moment. This is how tired of conversations on politics and waiting for the dessert that Leonie never came to the grandfather the question. "I have heard that you are a momentosexual, what does it mean?". Everyone lowered their gaze on the plate and Pascal point on the alive, promised them "I answer the next few days".
The head of the family then prepares for this special coming out by turning far and wide the bookstores of Nice and in the end finds a pedagogical book that is titled Tango has two dads, and why not "suitable for children from 5 years upwards. The next Sunday read to his granddaughter the story of the two male penguins who adopt an abandoned egg. The characters are not all naked (to resume the title of another book that has aroused many book controversy), but they have feathers and the book allows you to understand that a man can love another and found one family.
When parents are an obstacle.
Se i nostri lettori non ci hanno riportato nessun problema con i loro nipotini, altri sono entrati in conflitto con la generazione di mezzo, quella dei genitori dei piccoli. Le stesse idee false inquinano da sempre le menti, “se ne sentono parlare diventeranno gay da grandi”, altri assimilano l’omosessualità alla pedofilia. Le opinioni politiche o religiose di nuore o generi hanno un peso preponderante sulla bilancia. Nel migliore dei casi è lo status quo ( cioè si evita l’argomento), ma in altri la situazione è ancora più tesa. Serge de Brive è diventato nonno a 41 anni ed ha accolto man mano i suoi 5 nipoti Francois (16) Elisabeth (13), Augustin (9), Timothée (5) e Zita di 3 anni per quattordici anni sono andati tutti d’accordo e hanno accettato il suo compagno fino al giorno in cui il genero gli ha confidato di non approvare affatto il loro modo di vivere. Da due anni Serge non ha più notizie, né della figlia, né dei nipoti.
L’effetto matrimonio per tutti.
When a gay grandfather is eliminated by the family, the parent acquired son -in -law or daughter -in -law is not the only responsible and exonerating the son or daughter would be a mistake. Have you really digested the bitter pill of the divorce of her parents and accepted the new sexual orientation of her father? The problem also arises many years after the sociologist Michael Bochow stresses that there are two fundamental conditions necessary for harmonious relationships between the three generations: a coming out made in a quiet way many years earlier and a good understanding with the mother of their children; Since the woman met in her straight life remains a very influential grandmother.
These composed and recomposed family ties may seem difficult to understand, but they are the key to good acceptance. The situation, however, over time is simplifying, as an immediate effect of the law (French) on the 2013 wedding, grandfather and his partner have the opportunity to get married and everyone can attend this magical day that removes the fears related to homosexuality and celebrates love. (Read Angelo's testimony).
The adoption law and the beginning of the recognition of homoparental families have another consequence: gays can become fathers in pairs and can become grandparents, without ever coming out. An important part linked to the difficulty of the acceptance of sexual orientation will disappear.
In their testimony Vincent and Michel, originally from Belgium where the marriage has been authorized since 2003 and the adoption since 2006 have made us glimpse this near future. In 2007 they were among the first to adopt 11 -year -old Hugo in their family. The boy grows quickly and engaged in an association of defense of homosexual parents and meets a girl there, also raised by two fathers, the two fall in love and a few months later she stays in the belt. A few months later the child was born, he knows his mother, dad and his four grandparents.
